More Horse Abuse

I can barely put into words how much this amuses me. It's so wrong yet SO right. Here's some more without that hot horse but you know that girl was photoshopped over the horse. How else would Dan end up looking so lusty?




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The last one makes me think of Threat Level: Midnight. He's Agent Michael Scarn and he loves the way he looks in those jeans!

Pony Rape!

This inspires some sweet nostalgia via teh Remus.

Neglect

I just got home from French which I went to straight after the train up from DC that I caught right after a doctor's appointment that I rushed to this morning after a long meeting with my lawyer which I woke up at 7:30 am for only to realize too late that the shower I was standing under was pouring out cold water. Today has been the spastic cherry on top of a busy busy week. I'm sorry times a thousand for neglecting all of my friends. I swear I never get phone calls or texts normally but as soon as I was out of town my phone was chirping non-stop. But I neglected a lot of chirps and a lot of bloggorrhea. My life's pace doesn't look to be slowing down in the near future but have no fear, I will learn to make time for all my little chickadees and keep you posted on the events of my experience.

Sweetness

Why have I never seen this before? Apparently someone put this on YouTube last month. Perhaps I subconsciously neglected Babyshambles music videos after The Blinding blindfold video (soooo clever) but this video for acoustic I Love You But Your Green is pure sweetness. It doesn't get much better than Drew with a big ole bass.

Memo!

It is a happy day because Myths of the Near Future is playing in my ears right now. So far, I'm loving it. It's making me a bit more depressed knowing that Klaxons are not playing SXSW, but oh well. I've got a long train ride to DC this afternoon and I plan to listen to this on repeat while I do my French homework and read Musashi. Good times.

That's familiar.

This is crazy. The first picture is of a painting that I did over a year ago (copyright enforced by death) and the second picture (that I just saw tonight) is by Kim Bo-Ha for Korean Elle Magazine.


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I'm not implying that Kim Bo-Ha (best name ever) ripped me off because he/she probably has never seen my work BUT I'm kind of a genius, right? Art is so circular so I can't pat myself on the back too much.

Konuere

This morning I made the executive decision not to buy tickets to see Bright Eyes. I used to listen to Bright Eyes every waking moment of the day a few years ago only to abruptly stop and never go back. I've heard a few tracks off of the next one and I'm kind of meh about them. I was one of the few people who actually liked Digital Ash, but it seems like he's not going to pursue that direction very much for now. At first I thought I would go to his show at Bowery Ballroom for nostalgic reasons but too many other shows have piled up. To me, going to see Conor play at Bowery was the equivalent of going to see Justin Timberlake play at Bowery. I would have done it for a $10 ticket. My nostalgia can be blocked very easily with a bloated ticket price. Oh well, it's sold out now and good riddance because I'm seeing three other shows there that same week. One more and I might have decided to just sleep on the Bowery floor.

Fab

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You know what this reminds me of?


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Love it. Why talk about the boring and a half Academy Award nominations when there's new couture to look at? You'll never look at oragami the same after seeing Christian Dior's new Couture collection. Amazing. I really hope Judi Dench wears this at the Oscars. I kid.

Ooh, Shiny!

Many things send me into rants of fury, but really it takes so little to make me happy. What is making me happy today? My new shiny leggings I bought from American Apparel. When I first saw them I wasn't sure if I would want to enter shiny pants territory, but something inside of me knew I had to have them. And I love them so much! They're so...so...shiny! Even Jakey owns a pair.

Coach Class

Someone buy me a pass...and a plane ticket...and let me stay with them. Thanks. All looks good except who freakin cares about Red Hot Chili Peppers? Seriously, if you just crossed them out and moved The Arcade Fire to the top of Saturday's list, this would be one dead sexy poster.

Mantyhose

I saw this coming. Believe it or not, I have had more than one conversation with guys about leggings. There must have been some deep underground mass (hallucinatory?) male need to participate in the legging trend and it has surfaced this past week at Marni's show in Milan.




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I think the trick is to wear them low on the hips, have thick calves, and not to be hung like a light switch. It works on the first guy in red, but not on the second one. The poor guy looks like Brian Boitano on his way to a cocktail party.

Hm. I was involved in ballet for many years so I've seen my fare share of men in tights and tights accessories like the not-so-glamorous dance belt. These man leggings are like a step up from that. I say, why not? I personally feel like this is something some guys would be into whenever they feel they can admit that to themselves. Meanwhile, I enjoyed FAD's contemplation of what to name them. Mantyhose is the obvious winner.

UPDATE:
Mantyhose cause harassment for The Sartorialist for no reason.

Double Yew Tea Eff Mate

You know when you first wake up and you're lying in bed and though you are awake, you have a dream-like train of thought that comes out at what seems to be a veritable conclusion? You get out of bed and normally just forget about it most days like a dream and never think about it again. But there's that one day every once in a while, hours after you have gotten up, when you remember the conclusion to your wild train of thought and it's completely absurd because you cannot remember what led you to that conclusion and you end up thinking to yourself, "Am I on crack?"...unless I'm the only person who this happens to...In any case, I'll continue my explanation.

About ten hours after I woke up this morning, I found myself sitting in this very spot where I sit now, checking my email, when for no reason in particular I thought of Frankenstein. Why Frankenstein? I couldn't figure it out. Wasn't I just thinking about Frankenstein for some reason? Why was that? After a good 30 seconds or so I remembered this morning's absurd conclusion...and it's a doozie:

"All these new rockabilly bands put together are like Frankenstein!"

This is the part of the story where I ask myself if I am smoking crack. I know I was using Frankenstein as a metaphor and not simply commenting on The Horrors, but beyond that I'm lost. How I came to this conclusion in my dream-like thought processing this morning, I may never know, but I clearly remember thinking the above statement was a unarguable truth and for some reason I felt it was appropriate to share that with you right now.

Please try and forget about my insanity while you listen to some sweet "neu rockabilly" tracks via imeem and maybe it will make more sense...to all of us.

Lamb Chops

Ok, I know I said less than 10 minutes ago that I needed to stop writing and find some zen, well I don't know if this is zen but these two trailers sure make me happy. The first one is for Hannibal Rising starring the hotness, Gaspard Ulliel, a french actor who I'm sure you will all be in love with in six months.


This next one is too good to say anything about. Just watch.


They totally used the same music in both of those trailers!

Gah!

One of the great things about SXSW, besides the actual festival itself, is the fact that leading up to it many many great bands play shows just before or after. The thing that drives me crazy is that these shows are all announced within the same few weeks and it's stressing me out with fear that a really great one might sell out before I even hear about it. In fact, I saved myself from a terrible missed opportunity just minutes ago.

It all started yesterday. I was at home congratulating myself on my decision to purchase tickets to see Bloc Party and Albert Hammond, Jr. The reason I deserved this self-congratulations is I could have bought presale tickets and didn't, but my tentativeness caused me to miss out which actually ended up working in my favor because the tickets I ended up getting are front row. I normally hate assigned seating (or seating at all) at concerts, but so long as I am assigned to the front, I'm a happy camper. SO I was doing something along the lines of humming to myself with glee when I found out that LCD Soundsystem tickets were going on sale only to look down at the date and see it was the same day as Bloc Party! Near tears, I was in. But I knew that there could not just be one NYC date for LCD Soundsystem. No way! Tickets ended up selling out in an hour and a second day was added. I made some victorious gesture, snatched up a ticket, and all is zen.

I have a dozen concerts lined up leading up to and after SXSW so far. Today's major dilemma would concern February 10th. Hmm what to do? The three options are as follows:

1. The Plug Awards at Irving Plaza. David Cross hosts and Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks, Deerhoof, Silversun Pickups, EL-P, and Tokyo Police Club perform. Pretty sweet, huh?

2. The Rapture and Locksley. Sounds great but the twist is that it's in Boston. Boo!

3. Just announced, Lily Allen at Webster Hall. We all know how I feel about Lily, now.

Eff. I really shouldn't stress so much because if I miss someone, I can probably try and catch them in Austin, but one must take into account 30 minute sets, crazy schedules, and overall drunkenness lurking in that Texas setting. I need to stop writing and go off and be zen ;)

Zarf

My mom has been watching All My Children since always, at least in my lifetime. It is the only soap opera on earth she watches and she watches it religiously. Because she normally records it to watch it later without commercials, I've had varying degrees of exposure to this show. I used to be pretty familiar with the characters back in the day when Gillian and Ryan were together. My earliest memory was when Edmund rescued Brooke from quicksand. Damn! I really could have done without her annoying ass all these years!

Fast forward to present day, the only time I ever get to see All My Children is when I go visit my parents in DC. In the morning, my mom will turn on yesterday's Tivo'd All My Children. She watches every scene and never wants to fast forward dumb and boring ones which drives me crazy, but probably not as crazy as I drive her. In my mind, I think that she won't mind my running commentary of all things ridiculous throughout the whole episode because, after all, it is only once in a while she watches an episode with me. In truth, it annoys the hell out of her...or so she says. It's normally towards the third commercial break after I've been making fun of all things Adam Chandler and Erica Kane that she tells me that I'm impossible along with some wave of her arms strategically matched with a roll of her eyes to which I respond with something along the lines of "You'll miss me when I'm not here to talk through it!" If I finesse it just right, by the end of the show, she's making fun of it with me turning us into some kind of pseudo Mystery Science All My Children Theatre. For example, the last time we watched an episode together (either at Thanksgiving or Christmas) J.R. was in the hospital and Babe went into talk with him while he silently gave her the death stare until he asked for a cup of water. At this point I shouted "Dump it on her head!" One dramatic beat later and J.R. tossed that water in Babe's face with such flourish it would make anyone proud. Pure soap operatic magic, I say.

The point of all this is, while I haven't seen All My Children a very long time (in soap opera years), I'm going to visit my parents in a little over a week from now and I must say that I cannot wait to watch it because of Zarf.



Who is this Zarf, you ask? According to Wikipedia:

"Zoe was introduced in August of 2006 as an international rock star, when Babe Carey and Josh Madden approached her to use some of her music in an ad campaign for Fusion. Zoe returned to the show November 29th, 2006 and will be undergoing male to female gender reassignment, apparently sometime in 2007. When she first came to Pine Valley she was naked at Fusion. Then she fell in love with Bianca, who is a lesbian. Zach Slater thinks that Zoe killed Simone Torres and Erin Lavery, two Fusion employees. She also wants Josh Madden and Babe Chandler together."

OMG! Simone is dead?! This tells you how much I watch the show because I have no idea who most of those characters are. Even though I have had no opportunity to see the show, I have heard all about Zarf thanks to Best Week Ever posting video clips of this amazing performance online. I think there's around seven clips here but it's hard to improve on the first one that made me fall in love with Zarf/Zoe:



*applauds*

Curse of the Golden Rat

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I'm really on a roll this week, two for two. After yesterday's viewing experience of The Queen, I decided to try and erase my memory by going to see Curse of the Golden Flower at the Regal in Union Square. About 30 minutes into the movie, I put my half-eaten bag of popcorn on the ground. A few minutes later I started to hear rustling under my chair. I looked behind me to see that no one was sitting there. To my utter horror and disgust the rustling noise soon gave way to the sound of crunching popcorn. This continued as I squirmed in my seat until I couldn't stand it anymore and sped out of the theatre in fear that I might start screaming my head off. A rat? A RAT?!!? How disgusting and unsanitary of you, Regal Union Square Stadium 14 (the same Regal Union Square Stadium 14 that I will never again enter and advise all others to do the same. The Regal Union Square Stadium 14 right next to the Virgin Megastore for those of you who don't know it by name). Needless to say, I got my money back and left but not before the manager offered me a coupon for a free popcorn. To redeem said coupon I would have to be at this theatre again which is an event that will never take place, so I politely declined.

Gross, right? But hey, it's New York! That's what one of the maintenance guys said to me yesterday when I asked about our building's mystery smell (that immediately departed once I and a few others called the building's management). I was merely curious and wanted him to tell me the source of the smell which he surely knew because it dissipated so quickly. He said that it just went away on its own and stuff like that should be expected because, after all, this was New York not California. Um no, dip shit! This may be New York, but this is my apartment that I pay through the nose for so that I do NOT have to deal with smells of rotten eggs in my closet! I feel the same can be said for an $11 movie ticket, whose over bloated price should pay for the extra pest control required to run a New York City movie theatre.

An Open Letter

Dear Mr. Insane Man,

I hope you enjoyed our screening of The Queen this evening. I couldn't quite make out what you kept mumbling to yourself nor can I figure out why you needed to stand up for a few minutes to examine nifty objects from your pockets. My best guess is that you were using the very convenient light provided by the projector to read. Well done with that! And how very thoughtful of you to sit at the very front of the theatre so to alert everyone to your insanity. You didn't care! Those chicken shits would never approach a crazy guy like you. Oh and it was a nice touch when you asked the man two seats back if he wanted popcorn. Thanks for not asking me because I, like everyone else, was annoyed as hell but not enough to complain in fear that you might pull out a nifty gun from your pocket. But it's not my intention to write to you about what ifs, but rather to thank you. You may be insane Mr. Insane Man, but at least you didn't talk on your cellphone like the asshole behind me. So, thanks for that!

Sincerely,
Ms. Freaked-out Movie Patron

How can I not watch this?

The Golden Globes are on right now and like all award ceremonies, they're horrendously intolerable for countless reasons, and yet I'm watching them. Thirty-five minutes in, it's not too bad cause this guy just won something:



Huzzah! Between that, the lack of an annoying host, the endless parade of bad fashion, and the gradually increasing blood alcohol levels in the room, this show is almost tolerable...almost...whenever it gets boring, I just hit mute and look at people losing their damn minds:


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Seriously, WTF?

Jealous of the UK

I'm sure I could come up with a one hundred point list under this subject, but here are today's two examples of why I am jealous and a half of the Brits.

1. Christopher Kane at Topshop

2. Babyshambles at the Boogaloo

And the day is only half over! Anyone who buys me one of those dresses and/or kidnaps Peter, let me know and I'll email you my shipping address.

The Smell

I admit that made fun of the smell emergency us New Yorkers had last week, but I'm no longer laughing. My building is reeking of rotten eggs at the moment. I have no idea if it's related to last week's scare, all I know is I'm going to barf but cannot because I think the smell is leaking in from the vent over the toilet. This is so sickening! I have zero sympathy for whomever's three day weekend I'm ruining over this, there better be a superintendent knocking on my door very soon or I'm going to have a cow. At the very least I'm going to force the owners of this building to pay my dry cleaning bills. Gag!

I caved.

I know I said I wouldn't be buying tickets to Bloc Party in protest of Ticketbastard, but I just did. What caused me to cave? Mr. Albert Hammond, Jr. How could I resist such a good show?


Yes, I know that's Julian and not Albert but close enough!
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By the time I reached the confirm page of my purchase I was laughing at how many extra charges Ticketbastard sneaks in. There's a convenience charge, a building charge, and an order processing charge. Some of those sound like the same thing to me. Convenience charge? I don't think that it's very convenient that the only way I can get tickets to a show is through this horrible website!

But I must say that I am thoroughly excited now. I like the new Bloc Party album...I mean...I look forward to hearing it next month ;). As for what row we have been assigned to sit in? It says 'VIP'. Hmmm, I wonder what that means! It sounds good. Anyone know? I'll have two and a half months to wonder about it.

Alright, Still

I started listening to Lily Allen way back in the Myspace days before she was ever in one issue of the NME (please use this time to bask in my hipness :). Then I was in the UK when she blew up. Her album was number one, she was in every magazine, and her face was plastered on every wall of every tube station in London. I was sick to death with hearing about her! My own personal minibacklash formed in my head and that was that...I was so OVER Lily Allen.

This was me:

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BUT! After a long period of paying no attention to Lily Allen, I slowly started to give her another chance. I wasn't telling anyone my dirty little secret in fear that it might ruin my indie cred. I would listen to a few songs here or there just to get that little high when I needed it and, over the last few months, I have gradually been won back over. My best efforts will be given to see her at SXSW and if this report from the NME is true, it looks like I might actually be spending cold hard cash on her! Shock and awe, my friends.

Alright, Still hits stateside at the end of this month, so expect an mp3 of my horrible attempt at a Lily Allen remix up here sometime after that. Until then, enjoy this commercial she made for the devil!

I win at life.

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Thinking I was being so productive, I woke up at 6:45am today only to leave my apartment with the wrong keys 5 minutes later. Without my cell phone, I was grateful that someone left a few discarded sections of the New York Times on the floor of the lobby so I had something to read while waiting for the Superintendent to arrive for work. Good times.

Thanks Captain Obvious

iPhone

I want one like yesterday. My contract with T-Mobile runs out in March and I was planning on switching to Verizon, but this changes everything.

A List of Extravagant Gifts

My opinion on gifts in general is to give them when you find something perfect and know just who to give it to. If I want to give someone a gift, I will. There's no need for the act of giving to revolve around the same few days each year.

That being said, my birthday is coming up in February. Birthday gifts are funny. Part of me asks, "Why be rewarded for aging?" while the other part of me says, "Gimme!" Everyone likes getting gifts, but I would rather have a good hug and kiss than a basket of Bath & Body Works products. The best gifts are things that I love, yet probably would not buy for myself. That is what this list is: a wish list of extravagant gifts that I would not mind receiving on my 21st Valentine's birthday this year, but I am realistic enough not expect any of this stuff. This is just for the fun of cool finds. But if a giving mood strikes you, I would never turn down a great gift!


i-Deck by Michael Kennedy

How amazing is this? It displays the album art on the "turntable" which is also used as a giant controller when you plug in your iPod. I'm pretty sure it's not for sale.
Cost: See what you can do!

Knuckle Rings by House of Waris

What? I want to look tough. I'll take one for each hand.
Cost: $1700

T-Shirt by House of Holland

I heard about these a few months ago and they could have been really old by now, but I haven't seen anyone in NYC wearing them yet leading me to feel that I couldn't turn down anything with Hedi Slimane written on it (Uhu Gareth Pugh is my second favorite).
Cost: £35

Alice. A Mad Tea Party by Su Blackwell

Su Blackwell does amazing sculptures that boggle my mind. This is art so who knows what this costs, but if you end up giving me an old cut up copy of Alice in Wonderland in a sticky mess, at least I'll know you tried.
Cost: A lot, I'm sure. Around $15 for the DIY version.

Band of Outsiders by Jean-Luc Godard

One of my favorite films.
Cost: $26.99

Cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery

The perfect example of something I would never buy for myself.
Cost: No idea. $4?

Hmmm that's all I can think of for right now. What? You thought I might want something from Vincent Gallo's website?

L'Amour

While browsing the farthest corners of the internet this evening, I stumbled upon a picture that made me squeal with girlish delight.



These two lovebirds happen to be two of my favorite people in the history of the universe, Jean-Luc Godard and Anna Karina. Needless to say, Cléo de 5 à 7 just moved to the top of my Netflix queue.

First Post, Two Cents

I created this Blogger account a while back but neglected it in favor of only occasionally posting blogs on Myspace until now, of course. For some reason, most likely boredom, I've decided to grow up and try to use this real deal blog. Any interested in seeing my concert photos in their entirety, head over to imeem...it's the shit.

So what to write about for my first Blogger blog? How about the same 10 minute experience it seems half of all New Yorkers (including yours truly) went through yesterday morning?

This was me:

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That 10 minutes was wasted spent on a certain Canadian indie rock band. I would like to know who actually got tickets for one of the five sold out shows The Arcade Fire are playing in February. So far I've only read about my experience of waiting in the "virtual waiting room" only to discover it was all sold out. Because The Arcade Fire care so much, only 2 tickets were available per purchase and resale is not allowed through ID enforcement meaning that people on both sides are now looking for hot dates. I like how in order to avoid profiteering, they have turned to what is basically prostitution. Here's a little advice to the people organizing this five-day extravaganza whether it be the band, the venue, etc: If you want to make sure the right people get tickets to your show (meaning fans and music enthusiasts over brokers, scalpers, and run-of-the-mill douche bags) put tickets on sale when you announce the show instead of letting the über hype build up over a few weeks. That way the people who hear about it first (aka the "right" people) will get tickets. Also do not use this new retarded tickets.com with its virtual slitting-my-wrists room. Not allowing resale of tickets is a good thing but would be even better if you had announced that BEFORE the tickets went on sale. Live and learn (and get Luvs you stupid babies)!

Moving on to a similar item, Bloc Party tickets went on sale this morning...but what's this?! Assigned seating? Ticketmaster? Try no. Sorry Bloc Party, I'll try and catch you at South by South West, instead.