Sick Week

Antonioni

"I always want to tell stories. But they must be stories that evolve, like our own lives. Perhaps what I seek is a new kind of story."
- Michelangelo Antonioni

Ingmar Bergman died the same day. Sad.

Methodddd

Bob Cate

Holy Water

Saw The Gossip last night. Beth Ditto wore a gold lamé dress. It was the hotness to say the least. After, I was supposed to hang out with my Swedish friend and his really hot visiting Swedish friend but I was tired and a half by the time I got home and just went to bed. This morning I was met with a voicemail box filled with the funniest Swedish drunk dials ever. Good times.

New York is about five feet under water right now and I hear it's about to get worse. I was out a few hours ago and the puddles are deep enough to almost go over my wellies. Part of me would really love to Swedish it up right now and the other part is thinking it's DVD time instead. Yesterday, I watched Happiness of the Katakuris for one of my classes and that was some effed up shit. Now, I need something like Harry Potter to cleanse my pallet.

Can we talk about Jack Palance?

How many times has he died? During dinner with Alex, I joked about Jack Palance dying every year. When he popped up in the dead people montage during last night's Oscars, I had a seizure. No joke. I was convulsing. I may had been under the influence of certain substances, but I am sure Jack fucking Palance has died more than a few times. Seriously, I've seen that clip of him doing one-handed push-ups at least 200 times by now! Alex immediately checked Wikipedia which says he died in November 2006. Bullshit!

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

Today, I have no time to tell you anything other than that Performance came out on DVD last week and you should all see it...several times.

Hey Jude

After my initial WTF shock wore off, I was sold by the fact that it is Julie Taymor and she's brilliant. Let's go see it and share some twizzlers.

Factory Hurl

About 24 hours ago, I saw Factory Girl. The time between then and now has allowed me to reflect upon the film and come to the conclusion that is may very well be the worst film ever made. But giving this movie the title of "Worst Film" almost seems too honorable a mention. I could go on and on about the poor writing, the unoriginal scatter brained style, and the cheesy sex scenes but why not just get straight to the point and tell you that acting was just about as bad as you could ask for.

I'll get to Sienna later, but please allow me to first analyze the other two horrific shits taken upon two of the greatest icons of the 20th Century. No wonder Bob Dylan sued these filmmakers. Keeping a straight face during Hayden Christensen's painful and awkward portrayal of Zimmerman was an impossible task. I can't even process the thoughts it inspires in my head to words, instead I'm just left with a cloud of frustration that lurks in my brain and carries a light saber. Guy Pierce's Warhol was just as lousy and completely one dimensional as he portrayed Andy as almost everything he wasn't. He made Andy Warhol naive. In fact, this trifecta of lame characters all shared the naive characteristic as if these people were complete assholes and idiots and not creating some of the most influential art, music, and culture of their time. Make them conniving if you must, but not naive.

Though the two males where intolerable in every sense, their lack of talent pales in comparison to that of Sienna Miller who is truly pioneering new frontiers in blandness. It is as if the casting directors purposely sought out the exact opposite of Edie Sedgwick. What made Edie Edie wasn't the silver hair or skinny legs, it was it. The it. The invisible it that attracts people to watch and to be intrigued. Edie was it and Sienna is far from it. I probably wouldn't recognize Sienna Miller in a picture without a caption and there would be no picture of her at all if she hadn't been involved with sleazy Jude. Her attempts to bring any of Edie's presence to screen were complete failures. Giggling as a reaction to everything is not equivalent to actual charm. There is a scene when Andy first sees Edie and practically has an orgasm just watching her dance and laugh. It is actually one of the only scenes that Guy Pearce pulled off. The camera is on Andy and he's just overwhelmed and repeating, "She's so beautiful!" and, as the audience, we are begging to see what he is seeing. The camera cuts to Sienna and she is just blah. Not beautiful, just completely blah. According to Webster, 'blah' is the opposite of 'it'.

This film is not just bad, it is tragic. Aside from The Passion of the Christ, I cannot think of another film that is so insulting and shameful in its portrayal of its icons. Just after seeing Factory Girl, I allowed myself to think about it in the cheerful light of mockery, but upon further reflection, I have grown increasingly upset at it. The very first frame of this film is one of the most recognizable shots of Edie Sedgwick. Of course, on screen it is Sienna Miller, but in that first second, before she said a single word or moved a single millimeter, we all saw it. It was Edie Sedgwick and she meant something to a lot of people and still does and this film is an insult to that. This film should have never been made. It is not just a waste of film, but a shit stain on someones legacy.

Lamb Chops

Ok, I know I said less than 10 minutes ago that I needed to stop writing and find some zen, well I don't know if this is zen but these two trailers sure make me happy. The first one is for Hannibal Rising starring the hotness, Gaspard Ulliel, a french actor who I'm sure you will all be in love with in six months.


This next one is too good to say anything about. Just watch.


They totally used the same music in both of those trailers!

L'Amour

While browsing the farthest corners of the internet this evening, I stumbled upon a picture that made me squeal with girlish delight.



These two lovebirds happen to be two of my favorite people in the history of the universe, Jean-Luc Godard and Anna Karina. Needless to say, Cléo de 5 à 7 just moved to the top of my Netflix queue.