Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Neighbors

My friends have all heard me complain a lot over my neighbors since I got back home. Spending that much time in Paris made me realize that, excluding my friends and loved ones, people are really inconsiderate in America. Since my neighbors are getting more annoying to me every day, I can't help but take my woes to the last refuge of bitching: blogging. That's what a blog is really, aside from a place to put up pictures, one big complaint.

SO

I have a new neighbor. She moved in while I was out of the country. My sleep-deprived whirlwind of a homecoming was capped off with the fact that I now share a paper thin wall with a loud young girl and her untrained never-stops-barking puppy. A loud young girl who is currently and very loudly having sex with her girlfriend. Women are so fucking annoying. I tried to tune out the noise, by watching Funny Games because what could be more of a turn off to them then the sound of shouting Germans from the other side of the wall? But my Netflix karma chose this moment to curse me! The DVD was scratched and froze my computer. I retrieved some headphones to listen to music, but then sound was horrifyingly transcended by bed shaking. I got up and made some tea and cursed the below freezing temperatures, sleet, and snow for trapping me inside my apartment for the evening with people who don't fall asleep after sex! I now have a completely new level of sympathy for men who choose post-coital sleep over chat. Damn women are annoying! Seriously, shut the fuck up. I know my neighbor's just trying to get me back because I keep watching Barack Obama videos on YouTube at 2AM and this is her way of letting me know she's for Hill. Also, Travis and I probably kept her up last night while we were watching Performance in the wee hours. But seriously all of that is nothing because SHE HAS A DOG! Dog covers paper, scissors, AND rocks in the world of tiny apartment dwelling! And loud lesbian sex covers all! I have no problems with anyone's sexual orientation this way or that, but there is nothing I hate more than noisy neighbors! Sound from another room is my number one pet peeve...even more annoying than the term "pet peeve".

So yeah, that's all I have to say about that. I hope that the previous paragraph had enough sexual words to get some perves over to read my blog. Welcome perves! And one final request to send out into the blogiverse. Please, if you're in a relationship with a girl with a dog...I beg you...go sleep with her at your apartment...her neighbor already has it bad enough with the dog. Thanks!

1 comment:

shey said...

people talk after sex? wow.

i'll be your neighbor! i love dogs but i will never own one. i have tristan trained to sit quietly on command and he knows being loud between the hours of 8pm and 9am is completely unacceptable. i can be pretty quiet during sex and i rarely ever carry on a conversation afterwards. if i have enough energy post-coital to carry on a conversation, then this sexual relationship is obviously not going to work out and will only be a one time thing.